Independence isn’t the word

I’ve come to realize that the thing from which I derive the most joy is my own self-determinism. It’s not what I do with that self-determinism but simply that I can and do exercise it. And, even that, only when I choose to, which resolves to always.

It’s not the fact that I can do X or have item Y or say phrase Z, though there is some pleasure to be derived from those things. It is that I can choose when and whether I will do X or have item Y or say phrase Z. Or not.

It is that understanding which energizes me. And I believe this is a fundamental source of energy for all high-order living things. It is an impulse to create. And I find that impulse is strongest when it comes from inside the individual rather than extrinsically. That’s what gets me up early in the morning and keeps me up late at night. Whatever my passion, it is this self-determinism which drives it, the cleanest, hottest fire of all.